God’s Economy and Calculations

“Have you ever thought the omniscient one has possibly miscalculated?” Mark Batterson

Gulp… yes. It’s a struggle I have over and over. Wondering what God is doing… I consider it a lot. By my calculations I should be at a different place in life. Since high school I have sought out God’s leading and direction in my life and tried to be faithful to following the “omniscient one.” I have in no way always been faithful, yet He has. My understanding of God and the work of Christ and the Holy Spirit has deepened, changed, and become more focused over the years. As my aim has been growing closer to God there are dreams that I have always hoped would fall into place. I have wanted to look beside me as I serve, worship, lead, learn, or have fun in His creation and see a “partner.” I have wanted to be able to buy a home to be able to open it up to foster kids, yet despite saving and giving this dream is still a bit out of reach. I have wanted to have my own children and adopt but have always felt that for me it is a 2 parent plan. (though I have single friends I admire who have adopted and I support!). This still seems out of reach and I wonder why God has given me this desire, not just for children – but to adopt? I have wanted to be a foster parent since I was a teenager. I have let go of relationships where God was not both of our first priority, trusting He has something better in store yet it seems not yet.

In contrast because of the freedom I have had over the years (single with no house, kids, or dog) I have poured into young adults lives, embraced my position as a social worked as a calling, travelled, served, and had wonderful adventures and friendships develop. I do love my life! Yet the Mark Batterson remains true… sometimes I wonder if He has miscalculated. I have attempted to worship God with my whole life but God’s economy is not a matter of accounting 101, and there are no miscalculations on his part.

Do you ever wonder the same thing… if God possibly miscalculates?

I don’t want to miss that God’s economy is not something that can ever be fully understood yet ultimately there is beauty in it.

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Posted on May 26, 2011, in Courage, Faith, Foster Care, kids, Mentor, Missions, Orphans, Social Work, Travel, Young Adults and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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